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Otherkin and Beliefs / Wind
« Last post by Rakeela on June 13, 2018, 05:13:42 pm »
One of the long projects for me since arriving on Earth has been the spiritual contemplation of wind.  There are notable gaps in my past life memories around matters of divinity.  I was passively faithless in one life, and actively false in another.  It feels rather as though I remember what I believed in, and so I remember a lot of very material things.  I might not remember that there were deities of that world at all had I no memory of petty blessings and blasphemies (these being social rather than spiritual) and the material forms of holy constructs (such as a building I would characterize as a dragon cathedral).  Many of the blessings (but hardly any of the blasphemies) centered around the wind.  It was a dragon goddess of wind in whose service I was false.  We did not curse the wind.  Inconvenient though it might be, who could but feel honored by the arrival of a storm?

Wind for dragons was many things.  It was of course travel, which was also visibility.  Even we shapeshifters knew no way but to fly in our own forms.  The presence of dragons in an area would thus not be wholly concealed unless we were willing to scuttle across the surface of the earth.  Wind was also planning amidst chaos.  Wind was unpredictable and yet necessary to predict.  The earth and sun were stable, and so it was the wind that determined sun, cloud, and rain.  The least winds could be fortune and woe in hunting, and as all people in that land had learned to chart their territories with paper plans, so we knew well the greater winds could show fortune and woe in farming and construction.  Very often the pleasantness of construction could be changed by wind, and sometimes great winds could tear down weak constructs.  The wind in all its variations flowed everywhere and touched all.  That which was like wind could be mapped like wind as well, for wind is not the only thing that flows everywhere and touches all it can.

Sometimes I am enveloped by a feeling of phantom wind.  To praise the wind can cause it, as can the sight of storms, or the sound of thunder.  It is cold upon me and yet tremendously welcome, bringing with it alertness, peace, and optimism.  As well, my social life is touched by wind, as I remember long a day spent in windy weather, and when interacting with others goes well I find occasionally the unexpected reward of phantom winds thereafter.
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Otherkin and Beliefs / Sexually Differentiated Jawlines
« Last post by Rakeela on June 11, 2018, 05:24:34 am »
Should male and female dragons have different jawlines?

I tend to accept tremendous morphological differences between dragons.  Any dragon is a dragon if they have the semblance of a dragon.  "Among our kind, wyverns even mate with wyrms," is a way that I've thought of it before.  I don't want to front-load my expectation here (though I have one with confidence), so what do others think?  Be assured that no answer is wrong.  If it is memory, it is memory.  If it is only preference, still we might yet have preference.
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Gaming Discussion / Golden Treasure
« Last post by Rakeela on June 05, 2018, 11:13:39 am »
http://www.dreamingdoor.net/
This game reminded me of beauty.  It got many things right!
It is only a demo right now, but I hope it really takes flight.
http://www.dreamingdoor.net/gtdemo/download/
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Life Stories / Re: Watcher, Rebel, Broker, Beggar: Part One
« Last post by Rakeela on June 05, 2018, 11:01:54 am »
I've been writing and rewriting this story for years.  Some of the forumites here may find it recognizable, in part or in whole.  It isn't meant to influence anyone or anything.  It's mine.
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Life Stories / Watcher, Rebel, Broker, Beggar: Part One
« Last post by Rakeela on June 05, 2018, 11:00:48 am »
There were various kinds of dragon in the world I remember.  There were the metallic smallscales, who lived where their scales caught the light; they held themselves forth as seekers of peace and wisdom.  There were shifters, mostly of the armored kin, who considered cities their rightful territory if they could own them unnoticed.  There were the raptoresque hill dragons, who lived together believing utterly in their own draconity, but were not always believed in turn.  There were itinerants of every winged breed who eschewed territory to move between other communities.  There were swamp dragons, sometimes wingless, lurking like philosophical crocodiles in lands valued only for their wild bounty.  There may have been others that I have forgotten.  I remember no wyverns, though their echo of the perfect form resounds with validity.

There were also humans, and there was a great debate about how we could live with them.  The smallscale position was that dragons could be beautiful to humans; humans feared the unknown, and we did not need to be unknown.  The shifter position was that peace was found in trade and shadow; humans lashed out at what they envied, and we did not need to be enviable.  The hill dragons defended their territories as the humans themselves did, with military constructs, asserting that human rapacity could only be answered in kind; this was arguably also the position of the swamp dragons, who built no castles but defended territories where no army could be marched against them without dying of plagues and dragon magics.  I do not know that any of us had found the right answer.  I do not consider mine to be a history of earth.

I was born in forested tundra to a pair of shiftscales who had taken temporary leave of populous southern territories to raise a family where shapeshifting would be a toy and not an obligation.  A shifter who does not learn first their dragon nature might not be a dragon at all.  When eventually I left home, I was briefly itinerant, but I met few dragons.  I had my pick of marginal territories in cold lands.  I settled near a small community of humans who had found a place where the forests provided excellent wood and their crops sprang up with bounty enough to keep them through the long winters.  I found a cave where the humans had once interred their dead and deemed it suitable to live in.  They knew it not, but they were mine, the custodians of my territory.  They feared what lurked in the hills, knowing not that what lurked in the hills valued their well-being.  In this manner I spent some years being a good shifter, albeit a simple one, as I had not yet learned to read.  I watched my people and wondered about their ways.  I stole trinkets from them for my lair, as much in curiosity as in greed.  I also killed several humans who I marked as thieves or brigands, fearing that the tiny settlement I watched over would have no other defense against them, and indeed not wishing for it to have need of defenses lest they be turned against me.  Once I aided a snowbound merchant caravan for no payment.  I would have done more of that had the opportunity arose.

One of my siblings set up a territory near to the south of mine and began to chart a path of great promise between the shifter and smallscale ways.  His lair had no community near it.  He sought to lure one.  He wore a false skin and came to my community and to others through the region, speaking of a good dragon who lived in the mountain, by which he meant himself.  He spoke of the worth of goods and trade.  He invited humans into his very lair and had them expand it.  He directed them in the construction of storage spaces, workshops, and the accumulation of goods.  He learned to read before I did, and studied the workshops intensely, eventually producing a design for mechanical looms that he had his followers construct.  His lair became reeking and noisy, a cacophonous variation to the barrow that I lived in, but his wealth grew impressive while he was yet young.  I visited him often... until the day a great earthquake dropped his mountain on his head, wrecking all that he had built.  His great tool-broken cave had an entrance in which I was standing when it happened.  The catastrophe spared me.  The antechamber did not collapse upon me.  I tried to dig my brother from the rubble, but I could not save his life.  Had he lived, his life would have changed the history of that world.

I took from his wealth what of it I could carry off.  My hoard grew dramatically, but I grew bored of my community.  My brother had been vital.  In his absence I realized that I was not.  Nor were there many other dragons who winged their way through my territory, nor were the farmers and shepherds I watched over rising to any ambition.  They farmed the land.  They produced some pigments and some petty wooden crafts, neither of which impressed the travelers who came still to buy the local wool.  They were sedate amidst the cold.

The village's greatest sophistication was a blacksmith, whose presence I did not notice until he built his bloomery.  Thereafter he proved a man of rigor and strength.  He selected the wood for his home with perfect care, built it upon a perfectly square foundation, and considerably higher than his neighbors; this style straight and tall described several houses constructed after his, as well as two buildings near the center of the community that were rebuilt, including the painter's shop.  The blacksmith painted his home black with white corners and white accents.  I admired the blacksmith, more than any of the others, but I feared him as a potential builder of traps and weapons.  And he was wholly unlike the others, who at best imitated him, but could not seem to change the conditions of their own lives.

I took to setting fires.  One human had changed more in years than a community had changed in decades.  They did not need the way they had been doing things, and I had not my brother's bravery or charisma to change things myself.  What I broke would be replaced in better forms.  And so it was, for a year or two, with growing stress and fear in the village as they were beset by some unknown burning ghost.  Until the day I got caught, which was also the day I set a fire that ate the village whole.
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Support and Advice / Re: Concern About Negative and Positive Past Life Memories
« Last post by Rakeela on June 05, 2018, 07:11:01 am »
I have a similar issue.  Negative past life memories are clear, positive past life memories are not.  What I usually do is I build approximations of the positive memories.  I load them up repeatedly and try to expand on them creatively, even a little recklessly, aware that I'm adding details that may fall away later in contradiction.  From the point of view of anyone on earth I'm just writing fiction either way; it's only from my point of view that the memories can be more or less true.  I find that I value the imperfectly detailed versions of the positive memories more than I value the sense of perfect truth from the undetailed versions that lodged more naturally in memory.

It's been the work of years to reconstruct some of these ideas, but sometimes the feel of memories will flare and crystalize, sealing in portions of the added detail, and unlocking new vague memories between the corrected details.  That recently lead me to realize that something I was heavily involved in dragonside is not actually out of reach, earthside.  There are rewards to exercises of pervasive affinity.  Survival demands focus on the negative, but oh, we do all long to move beyond the crass demands of mere survival!
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Introductions / Re: Hello? This is dragon. With Cake.
« Last post by Rakeela on June 05, 2018, 06:58:54 am »
It seems like there's a lot of hints of nuisance days long ago.  It makes me wonder what I missed.
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Introductions / Re: you people still exist holy tribbles
« Last post by CrystalisRC on June 04, 2018, 06:52:33 am »
We need everyone to contribute this time around, and not have it so limited, it'll shape all the hard work we've previously done.
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Introductions / Re: Drawn by the Echoes of Memory
« Last post by CrystalisRC on June 04, 2018, 06:51:29 am »
It's people like you Rakeela and wishes to create a bigger, stronger community to how we shape and see it that makes it so special.
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Introductions / Re: Drawn by the Echoes of Memory
« Last post by Deebles on June 03, 2018, 11:10:10 am »
Yay, Rakeela! hug!
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